Standing here solidly on my own two hands and going crazy

I'm battling a lot of emotions right now.

There's a really good chance Twitter is about to explode...and I'm not handling it well.

Ok, I am. Because that's just how I do things.  But internally I AM NOT OK.

I have been so very isolated, so extremely lonely, since this stupid, super-rare, incurable and un-treatable disease has taken over, and Twitter was my way to connect with people who weren't currently living in my house. 

I joined because one of my food blogging friends was there, and she was using it more than her actual blog. And hey, more food friends were around!

Then I found comics people.  And art people.  And animal lovers and ...everyone. I made friends. I had daily conversations with people. We shared parts of our lives (curated, for the most part, but it was something!), we laughed and raged and it alleviated some of the sadness and boredom. 

And with its very swift decline and (most likely) demise, I'm thinking of all the people I'll probably never see or hear from again. And how empty my life is going to feel. And I AM NOT OK.

It makes me angry that this horrid, rich, entitled actual villain can burn to the ground something so vital to the lives of so many.  And it won't mean anything to him in the end. 

So, I'm feeling a lot of things.  Mostly grief.  Not because of Twitter, exactly. But what it's symbolized: a lifeline.  I'm going to miss it in a very real and painful way. 

AND I AM NOT OK. 

Labels: grief, health, loneliness, personal, sadness, twitter